It was just like looking right into the mirror of my shadow self. The darkness overwhelmed me this time. Cried so hard that my nose bled. There wasn’t a way to surface for air for about two days.
Transparency took over my life for awhile & the idea of curling up only made me want to scream bloody murder. I only wanted to take off to find where my spirit had hidden my happiness….it wasn’t my spirit that hid it. It’s that I hid my happiness inside your heart.
There is this long held belief that we put our happiness in someone who doesn’t deserve it. Although, what happens when you place that happiness in someone who truly appreciates you?
The problem is: when something happens to shake our world, it truly is only to wake us up from our slumber. Too many times do we waste our time stressing on the wrong subjects of our lives. When death visits the threshold of our lives, we have one of two responses:
- We run for the hills, curl up inside our mind & refuse to feel it OR find an unhealthy outlet.
- The moment we allow it to hit us & feel it completely, we beginning the healing process quicker.
The truth is that in order to really feel anything, we MUST feel transparent to transform. There is a profound transformation that happens when death comes around & knocks on our doors. It shows our mortality & it risks the truth: that we really do feel and we know the same truth as everyone else; Our lives mean nothing without the justification of love & memories with the one person we may never get to express & show our feelings for again.
……..when the opportunity of showering our love on another is almost stolen from us, we see the transparency of our ego & that expressing our love for friends and family could possibly be the only true meaning in the creation of this vast universe & for being on this beautiful blue marble.